Amy + Chris, Laughing Into The Sunset

Their Story: Chris and Amy first met as freshman at Lehigh University. Their mutual friend Matt Weintraub introduced them a few weeks into the semester, making light of their social habits—“Hey Chris, this is Amy, she doesn’t drink either so you two can hang out.”  

Living on the same floor of the freshman dorm called (ironically) Drinker, they became fast friends and soon found themselves meeting up for “breakfast, lunch and dinner”… sending each other AOL IMs to coordinate meet ups at the center stairwell to raid the vending machine together for late night snacks. They’d watch movies and hang out on the weekends. Their first year at Lehigh flew by, and before they knew it they were saying goodbye for the summer.

While they were apart, Chris found himself thinking a lot about Amy and wondered if she was thinking about him too. His questions didn’t go unanswered for too long though. When he arrived at his new dorm room to unpack at the start of sophomore year, he found a note already on his door from Amy--She had missed their good times together and had already stopped by.

That semester, they started dating. Chris recalls that he “couldn’t stop thinking about Amy whenever they were apart.”    

Over the past twelve years, there has hardly been a day that Chris and Amy haven’t spent together. They both say that, through it all, their constant friendship and appreciation for the other’s sense of humor continues to be the brightest spot and force that binds them together. Chris says, “we’ve never gotten tired of spending time together. We can always laugh and I know that we can get through anything.”

A Ceremony Built On Laughter: This October, they returned to where it all began, Bethlehem, PA for a beautifully appointed wedding at The Sayre Mansion, just down the road from where they first met. When I asked Chris and Amy what emotion they wanted their guests to take away from their ceremony, Chris said, “Lighthearted calmness” and Amy added, “Joy. We try to take things lightly and laugh as much as possible.” 

Preferring to see the bright side of things doesn’t mean that this couple isn’t deep. One of the things that Chris loves about Amy is how thoughtful she is in making an effort to give gifts of significance and say meaningful words in their shared life. I thought immediately of floriography, the coded use of flowers to send secret messages, which became very popular during the Victorian Era. So I called their wedding florist, Sarah Petryk from Allium Design, to talk about creating a beautiful set of garlands for Amy and Chris to exchange that would be symbolic of their relationship and hopes for the future.

On their wedding day, Amy and Chris adorned each other with garlands made of Ivy (meant to symbolize devotion and friendship) and Jasmine (which means humor and cheerfulness). Newly adorned in symbols of their devotion, friendship and shared outlook in life, Amy and Chris listened as Amy’s brother read “Your Laughter” a poem by Pablo Neruda.

"Your Laughter" by Pablo Neruda

Take bread away from me, if you wish,
take air away, but
do not take from me your laughter.

Do not take away the rose,
the lance flower that you pluck,
the water that suddenly
bursts forth in joy,
the sudden wave
of silver born in you.

My struggle is harsh and I come back
with eyes tired
at times from having seen
the unchanging earth,
but when your laughter enters
it rises to the sky seeking me
and it opens for me all
the doors of life.

My love, in the darkest
hour your laughter
opens, and if suddenly
you see my blood staining
the stones of the street,
laugh, because your laughter
will be for my hands
like a fresh sword.

Next to the sea in the autumn,
your laughter must raise
its foamy cascade,
and in the spring, love,
I want your laughter like
the flower I was waiting for,
the blue flower, the rose
of my echoing country.

Laugh at the night,
at the day, at the moon,
laugh at the twisted
streets of the island,
laugh at this clumsy
boy who loves you,
but when I open
my eyes and close them,
when my steps go,
when my steps return,
deny me bread, air,
light, spring,
but never your laughter
for I would die.

 

I’d like to thank Sarah Petryk and her team from Allium Design for creating such beautiful and meaningful garlands for Amy and Chris to use in their wedding ceremony. The jasmine came from Sarah’s own grandmother’s tree that had been tented for weeks to protect the fragile and fragrant blooms for this purpose.

And of course, it is always a pleasure to work with Bradley and Janna, the husband and wife photographic team who are the überstylish Rhema Images Photography. Thank you for capturing these amazing moments of genuine emotion on Chris and Amy’s wedding day and for being so generous and sharing these images here.

Jessica + Walden, W is for "Will you marry me?"

Their Story: Jessica was just about to delete her online dating account when she got a notification that she had an email. “It had to be one of the sincerest requests that I had read in a long time” Jessica remembers writing a response and then waiting. She waited about a month without hearing anything back. Upon further investigation, Jessica realized that she never actually clicked “send” the first time. She quickly took steps to remedy the situation and a week later found herself meeting Walden for their first date.

The risks of meeting a stranger (whom she met online) so soon, were not lost on Jessica. To minimize the inevitable I told you so’s from friends, Jessica chose to meet at Red Robin at the local mall, then made sure to tell a couple friends where she was going to be.  

Jessica dressed to emphasis the casualness of her expectations, “I felt so under dressed. Here I am thinking casual, a good pair of jeans, a fun t-shirt and a sweater, meanwhile he was in dress pants, a button-down shirt and dress shoes…He held the doors open for me, refused to let me pay, and walked me to my car after the movie.”

Three weeks later, Walden’s mother was in town visiting. Walden invited Jessica to dinner with his mother. “I think that was the moment I really started seeing Jessica as the one I would spend my life with” Walden remembers.

When Jessica was vulnerable enough to share how she had been hurt in the past, what resulted was a very creative and alphabetically-inspired proposal from Walden. Jessica was brave to show up emotionally, and in doing so, she allowed Walden to become her knight in shining armor.

When Walden embraces his inner geek, it allows Jessica to appreciate his adorable quirkiness too.  She says, “he is all that I wanted in a guy, he’s my north star.” 

Being vulnerable enough to be who you are in front of someone else is very brave.  It is only when we show up in our relationships, in this way, and take this risk, that we allow someone else the opportunity to show up too.  To be there for us when we need it.  To love all of our parts—the polished and the one’s still under construction. Finding someone who, as Walden puts it, “not only tolerates, but openly embraces and supports me. She is simply perfect for me” is something to be celebrated indeed!

For their Wedding Ceremony:

Walden and Jessica wrote and shared their own vows. After exchanging rings, we surprised their guests with a unity ritual using LEGOs. Here’s how we used this favorite toy to talk about marriage and demonstrate Walden and Jessica’s intentions for the future…

“In LEGOs we find a great metaphor for life and also for marriage. LEGOs, like us, come in many different colors, shapes and sizes. Each piece can be used for many different purposes and that purpose can change over time.

Besides providing hours of creative play, LEGOs are used to build robots, vehicles, buildings and even amusement parks. The magic of the design of the LEGO is that they are versatile, adaptable, stick together and can withstand a tremendous amount of pressure. And just like in life, when something you’re building falls apart or conditions change, you can easily gather the pieces and build something better together.

LEGO, the company was inspired by the Danish phrase to “play well”. It is with the intention of laying the foundation for cooperation, teamwork, creativity and playfulness in their marriage, that Walden and Jessica have chosen to express the transformative nature of today’s union by using this beloved toy. 

They have each brought to the ceremony a tower representing themselves.  The purple bricks represent Jessica and her life up until this moment. The blue ones--Walden’s.  Today, these two sections will be joined by a third color red—that they will build together-- representing the life that they will share. 

Keep in mind that with LEGOs, as in life, there is always room for adjustment and additions…”

Then, to the delight of all of their friends and family, the happy couple then turned their attention to building their tower, together.

Jessica and Walden exchanged vows and celebrated the start of their married life at Woodsgate at the Stroudsmoor Country Inn.  A special thanks to Jan of Essence Photography for the use of this image to share Jessica + Walden’s true love story.

Krystle + Jason, Love’s Brew

At the end of summer, Krystle and Jason exchanged vows and celebrated the formal start of their new union at Sand Castle Winery, which is situated along the banks of the Delaware River in Pennsylvania’s historic Bucks County. With the majority of Krystle’s family living in the Midwest and her parents having met her groom on only two occasions (the second of which was a funeral), she wanted “to have our story told” so their guests could have the opportunity to learn more about who they were as a couple.  For Jason, it was important that they honor their families and that their guests see how important his and Krystle’s partnership was.

Love’s Start:

“In the case of Jason and Krystle, it took about two years, a lot of prompting, prodding and fixing up attempts before love started to brew, because as Jason puts it, ‘he was a professional.' Don’t misunderstand he wasn’t blind.  He first noticed Krystle about the time she started working at National Life. Jason had swooped in to save the day and help Krystle set up the AV on a presentation she was to give.

As the months went on, he continued to pay attention when his boss Darcy suggested that Krystle sit in on a bunch of meetings with him for an on-going project. And, as a ‘professional’ in the field of ‘information’ he was absolutely invested when Krystle was interrupted in the middle of a training session and asked (kind of not professionally) if she was single?

The Professional/Personal lines can get blurry and complicated in the modern day workplace. But now that Jason knew that Krystle was single, he was ready to take action, “I called her office line and got her voicemail, so I hung up. I called back, got her voicemail, and hung up. Around this time, she had returned to her office and assumed we had broken something, so when I called back a third time and asked her to lunch, I got an excited “Sure!”

But as Jason hung up the telephone, he wasn’t sure if she understood that he had just asked her out on a date. They had been working on a long term project together, after all. Thinking that Krystle, (the real professional), might be under the impression that this was a working lunch and not a date, Jason prepared himself for the very likely event that Krystle might bring along a colleague. So when the moment of truth came for their lunch date, he was relieved that when Krystle arrived—she came alone. 

After two years of being ‘professional’ and not talking to each other, on a Wednesday afternoon over lunch at a local Italian restaurant-the conditions were finally right. Jason courageously pitched his metaphorical yeast and Love finally started to brew between this couple. And you know, there’s nothing more worthwhile in this life than sharing a plate of spaghetti and your dreams with someone.

What started with a Lady And The Tramp-style lunch, Jason and Krystle’s courtship soon involved amazing camping trips (something they both had fond memories doing when they were younger with their own families), beer festivals, visiting countless microbreweries (Jason proposed at Wisconsin’s New Glarus Brewing Company, Krystle’s favorite brewery) and a Memorial Weekend Trip to Pennsylvania to visit Jason’s family. Krystle says, “I knew I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life after that trip…I felt like I belonged in his family and I always enjoyed traveling to new places with Jason.”

Ceremony Highlights:

For their ceremony, family and friends were treated to a touching and emotional performance as the bride and groom took turns reading a favorite passage about relativity from Albert Einstein:

Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?

Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.

Anyone who knows Jason, knows that he’s passionate about brewing beer and one day hopes to start his own brewing company as well as a family with Krystle.  So it would make sense that the themes of beer and partnership would be woven throughout the entire wedding.

Jason and Krystle included a Libations Box + Love Letters section in their ceremony, where they placed love letters and a bottle of lambic in a wooden box made by Jason’s father from wood provided by Krystle’s family’s lumber company. At their reception, guests were treated to a selection of beers, ales and lagers that Jason brewed just for the occasion.

And to kick off the official start of their marriage by emphasizing the importance of their partnership, Krystle and Jason chose to partake in the German tradition where a newly wed couple saws a log in half.  “This act is a physical representation of their promise to overcome life’s obstacles together and is also a good reminder to appreciate how your differences can compliment your relationship. Krystle and Jason you’ll need to be equal partners in order for your tools to work and to ultimately accomplish this task.”

I am happy to report that, with a little help from their friends, Krystle and Jason were successful in overcoming this first obstacle together as a married couple. May all who know and love Jason and Krystle raise a glass to their happiness!

A special thank you to Aaron Mitchell Photography for capturing so many wonderful moments at this wedding celebration. I just love Krystle’s infectious smile!

Sarah + Patrick, This Is For Real

Their Story: Although there’s always been this strong connection and tenderness between Patrick and Sarah, (they first met in Jr. high school) their relationship hasn’t always been the easiest to manage.  Different stages in life and the pursuit of their careers pulled them both in different directions—until two years ago, they had spent most of their time as a couple apart from one another. 

 

Their friends can testify that during those years that Sarah and Patrick were physically apart--living in different parts of the world--they were both committed to remaining connected.  Sarah says that she remembers, spending what seemed like “entire weekends on the telephone, or AOL’s instant messaging system, talking with Patrick” about their hopes and dreams for the future and making plans for their next trip to see each other. 

Both Sarah and Patrick believe that getting through the challenges of being apart has solidified their faith and trust in their partnership for the future.

Last year Patrick, an Officer with the Air Force, got a work assignment on the island of Oahu. Sarah, willing to postpone the start of her career to finally be together, moved with him to Hawaii. From the shores of the Aloha State, they started planning a Pennsylvania wedding. 

“Having friends and family present is very important to me” Sarah shares, “Because we were in a long distance relationship, our lives were so separate before, and so we spent a lot of time with our friends and family members. Having the ceremony with them present is a way to merge our independent lives and also for everyone to experience the two of us as a couple and a family rather than only as individuals.”

Patrick wanted everyone present at their wedding ceremony to leave knowing that he and Sarah “are good together and are happy together.” 

Ceremony Highlights

Ring Blessing In honoring the role that family and tradition play in their lives, Sarah’s wedding ring was made with the diamonds from a re-purposed family heirloom. At the start of their ceremony, Sarah and Patrick’s rings were passed through their family and friends. While holding their rings, guest were invited to add their best wishes, prayers, dreams and best intentions for the couple and their marriage, into the rings before Patrick and Sarah exchanged them later on in the service.   

"Patrick, the woman whose hands you hold loves you very much.  She’s athletic and driven, fiercely loyal and caring… She’s got it all, and you are astounded, daily, by her combination of beauty and brains."--Alisa Tongg, Celebrant 

"He’s sweet and silly, handsomely dashing, generous with his affection and seriously driven. He inspires you with his inquisitive mind and joins you on your junk food benders."--Alisa Tongg, Celebrant

Herbal Infusion One of the many things that Sarah loves about life with Patrick, is the time they spend preparing meals together. Since sharing a meal is very important to this couple, they decided to perform a symbolic herbal infusion as their unity ritual.  

They used fresh marjoram and rosemary from the beautifully cultivated gardens of the Glasbern Inn. Marjoram represents joy and happiness, which is exactly what Patrick said he felt, “sharing this celebration with all of the people" he loves. Sarah chose rosemary because it symbolizes remembrance, love, loyalty, and fidelity, she says, “these were the qualities that were important when we were physically separated and continue to be important now in our relationship being a military family.”

Sarah and Patrick on the grounds of the Glasbern Inn. Jauhien Sasnou Wedding Photography

For the future, Patrick says, "I see us living in many different places throughout the world and making the most of all of them." In addition to a lifetime living in places that they love, continuing to pursue their passions and eventually starting a family, Sarah hopes that she and Patrick, "never stop having fun together."

A special thank you to Jauhien Sasnou, a Philadelphia-based wedding photographer with a great eye and style. You can see more of his work here.

Marriage Equality Comes To The Garden State, Making The World A Better Place...

Thank you to all who came out to celebrate marriage equality in New Jersey last weekend at our Pop Up Nuptials so graciously hosted by Tony Frier and Greg Grude of 9th and Coles Tavern. And a heartfelt congratulations to Manuel + Andrew and Nikki + Sue, both couples exchanged "I dos" making their unions legal in The Garden State.

 

The evening started as I read an excerpt from Massachusetts Supreme Judical Court, Chief Justice Margaret Marshall's 2003 opinion on the importance of marriage in our society. 

Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support; it brings stability to our society. For those who choose to marry, and for their children, marriage provides an abundance of legal, financial, and social benefits. In return it imposes weighty legal, financial, and social obligations....Without question, civil marriage enhances the 'welfare of the community.' It is a 'social institution of the highest importance.' ...

"Marriage also bestows enormous private and social advantages on those who choose to marry. Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family.... Because it fulfills yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life's momentous acts of self-definition."

Couples Andrew + Manuel and Sue + Nikki exchange vows to be faithful partners for a lifetime. Douglas James Studios

Andrew and Manuel have been together for almost 20 years. They first met at the Gay and Lesbian Community Center in NYC and in 2001 had a large commitment ceremony at Rainbow Mountain Resort in the Poconos. At that celebration, Andrew says they, "had over 80 guests with all of friends and family present - we really wanted to declare our love regardless of law at the time." Then in 2011, on their 10th wedding anniversary they made their commitment legal in a very romantic beach elopement in Cos Cob, CT. 

Manuel + Andrew with Cristina Kollet of Inclusive Ceremonies. Douglas James Studios

"We're just romantics at heart and were so thrilled to have the chance to renew our vows in our 'home' state, especially since it was a long fought right. We feel marriage is not only a lifelong commitment but the government legitimizing people as individuals with rights to personal happiness and the related privileges and responsibilities. We were overwhelmed with the kindness and support at 9C - restored our faith in a future where everyone is celebrated for being themselves."--Andrew

Sue gives Nikki a fragrant double strand pikake lei flown in from Hawaii. Douglas James Studios

Doug Nevick and Alisa Tongg. Douglas James Studios

So many people came together to show their love and support for these two couples, Doug Nevick an award-winning wedding photographer of Douglas James Studios was there to capture all of the intimate moments on this historic wedding day.

At a second (or third in the case of Andrew + Manuel) ceremony, both couples struggled to take their rings off, so they could exchange them again. Douglas James Studios

As Sue so artfully says, "No backsies." Douglas James Studios

"May each of us do everything in our power to support and strengthen Sue + Nikki as they journey together the road of life." -Alisa Tongg, Celebrant. Douglas James Studios

"May your life together be a sweet one."-Alisa Tongg, Celebrant. Douglas James Studios

Taste the Rainbow: Goehrig's Bakery in Jersey City Heights created this amazing and delicious wedding cake. Douglas James Studios.

Stephanie Jackson of Absolut Vodka commissioned a beautiful ice sculpture for the occasion. Here's Nikki discovering it's second function. Douglas James Studios

Cheers! Manuel, Andrew, Sue and Nikki congratulate each other as they share in this moment. Douglas James Studios

It's official. Alisa Tongg signing the marriage license with her sister-in-law Renee looking on. Douglas James Studio

On this occasion, I accept payment in kisses. Douglas James Studios

Participants gather and bask in the post nuptials bliss.

9th and Coles Tavern hosts for the evening, Tony Frier and Greg Grude (back center) with Andrew + Manuel, Nikki + Sue and Eddie Baez and Erik "Robocub" Smith of Gayborhood Jersey City. Douglas James Studios

A special thanks to Cris Kollet of Inclusive Ceremonies for helping and Douglas James Studios for supporting this evening and taking such beautiful pictures of Andrew + Manuel and Nikki + Sue's New Jersey weddings. 9th and Coles Tavern for generously hosting this night of weddings and for arranging the festive reception afterward featuring an Absolut Vodka ice sculpture luge and Goehrigs Bakery.