Dan + Lisa Love Their Modern Family

Their Story:

Dan and Lisa met via algorithm four years ago. Dan jokes that Lisa scored the highest on two very important tests: the compatibility test crunched by Match.com was the first, and his personally crafted and administered ”hotness” exam was the second.

Compelled by their connection, Dan asked Lisa to move in with him just three months later. At eight months, they bought a house together and the five children between them started to grow into a family. 

Nicole Leigh Photography

Last spring in Boston, while sitting side-by-side on a waterfront bench, in a dreamlike setting surrounded by a canopy of white lights, Dan surprised Lisa by pulling out a sparkling ring box and asked her to spend the rest of her life with him. 

Their Ceremony: 

As Lisa and Dan prepared for their wedding day, they were determined to use their ceremony as a tool to honor their relationships with their five children.

Lisa's son Antonio walks her down the aisle. Nicole Leigh Photography

Shortly after making their own vows to each other, Dan and Lisa turned their attention to the children (who were also the adoring wedding party) and extended their promises to the family. When everyone gathered to participate in their Sand Ceremony, they each poured their sand from individually decorated vessels. 
 

 

 

Before the ceremony, the girls gather to admire the variety of styles to their sand pouring vessels.

Perhaps the most moving moment came, however, when the whole family gathered in a circle for the surprise reading of the List of Loves. As parents to this new modern brood, Lisa and Dan had written something for each child, a List of Loves that acknowledged and paid tribute to the unique attributes and gifts of their five children. Addressing each child as I read this Love List was definitely the most moving moment of the day for many present.

Sweet Isabella leans in to her mother's embrace as she listens to the things Lisa and Dan appreciate about her. Nicole Leigh Photography

There's something incredibly beautiful about being seen for who you are and being accepted. For Dan and Lisa, their ability to create a safe space of love, belonging and acceptance with each other has become the fertile ground on which each member of their modern family is whole-heartedly cherished and celebrated. It was an honor to witness the joining of this family. 

Hannah's gold sparkly Converse sneakers. Nicole Leigh Photography

Congratulations to Lisa, Dan, Lucia, Antonio, Isabella, Hannah and Isabel on your new, beautiful and lovely family!

Thank you to Nicole Leigh from Nicole Leigh Photography for being so generous and sharing these amazing images. 

Karissa + Robert sitting in a tree...

Karissa and Robert chose to have their hands fasted together as one of their unity rituals. Kristen Rath Photography.

Their Story: Karissa and Robert met at Karissa’s Uncle Matt’s wedding in 2005.

Dazzled by each other, they spent the night talking and dancing. The next morning over the post wedding brunch, Robert asked Karissa if he could take her out the following week.  They exchanged numbers. But she never called.

It wasn’t until five and a half years later, when a mysterious text from Rob arrived. We will never know exactly the entire story behind that text, but it did bring our couple back together.  This time, Karissa says, that by the second day they spent together, she knew she was “completely in love with Robert, and knew that someday he would be the man she married.”

Karissa honors her father and step-father and their roles in her life by including both in her processional. Kristen Rath Photography.

Their Wedding:  Karissa is a woman blessed with so many loving relationships in her life, and in her wedding ceremony she wanted to honor them.  From the start, her style was inclusion.  Some highlights included walking down the aisle arm-in-arm with both her step-father and her father, a heart warming forehead nuzzling from her father as he gave her away, a surprise birthday tribute to her Gram (and number one Karissa + Robert supporter throughout the years), and a family unity ritual for three-year old Owen to participate in.

Every member of the family can participate. Here three year old Owen pours his sand into the new family vessel. Kristen Rath Photography.

When it came time to seal their vows with a kiss, in a full-circle sort of way, Karissa found herself in the same situation as in the start of the ceremony—in between the two most important fellas in her life. Ah, the Circle of Love!

A special thank you to Kristen Rath Photography for capturing these cherished moments (and more) and for sharing them here. For more of Kristen Rath Photography, please visit:  http://www.kristenrathphotography.com/

Nikki + Sue are getting da kine

Bringing a sweetheart home for the first time is a big deal no matter where you are from.  When your home is Hawaii and your intended is from any other place, chances are that something delightful is about to happen. If your sweetie’s not totally uptight that is. Since Pidgin English abbreviates words and often demonstrates warmth and closeness with minimal linguistic effort, it’s better if you can, you how say? “hang loose.” The playful local dialect in the Hawaiian islands is made up of words from Hawaiian, English, Cantonese, Japanese, Portuguese, Filipino, Japanese and more recently—Surfer. 

When sweethearts make a trip out to experience authentic Maui, it’s always entertaining to witness my dad and uncles lovingly giving pidgin lessons to our friends from the mainland. (*These lessons don’t always need to be in Hawaii, however, I remember once while strolling in Santa Monica, my Uncle Pascal yelled, “Wot, owe you money?” to a man who had “staring problems”.) 

Nikki (left) and Sue on her first visit to Maui back in 2005.

When my sister Nikki brought Sue home a few years ago, I watched in amazement as Sue’s Boston accent did somersaults to incorporate all the da kines and with the proper inflections!  A serious student to her new calling-spreading the Aloha Spirit- she was always working on honing her craft (you should hear her outgoing voice mail message!)

Sue and Nikki were packing up their car recently after spending the weekend at my place in Pennsylvania. Sue had noticed a book on the nightstand in the guestroom and wanted to know if she could borrow it. 

Sue: "Hey Alisa, What's your book borrowing policy?"

Alisa: “Oh, what book is it?”

Sue: “Pidgin To Da Max”

Alisa: “Did you look inside it already?”

Sue opened to the front cover and saw that it had already been inscribed to her.

Nikki and Sue will get married on the North Shore of Maui next month.  I am so excited to help them celebrate their choice to go through this life as partners and as a family. Sue has requested a set of vows in pidgin, I’ll see what I can do…

My Uncle James after successfully giving me a surf lesson at Tonggs Beach in Honolulu.

Since not everyone can stay with our uncles, here’s Frommer’s 20 words you should know before visiting Hawaii …http://www.frommers.com/slideshows/817946-twenty-words-every-hawaii-visitor-should-know#slide840706

Kiss + Tell with Laura Billingham

Last fall I had the luck of being assigned a space next to photographer Laura Billingham at a meet and greet. In the still moments between our "official business" we found ourselves stuck on the topic of kissing.  It made sense of course, to interview her for my blog series devoted to the topic...  

The "world spins madly on" kiss. Laura Billingham Photography.

  Q&A

Alisa Tongg: What’s your philosophy when shooting a wedding/couple? (Portraiture, photojournalism, story-telling, fine art, post-production magic…?) How would you describe your style?

Laura Billingham: I think so many descriptors for wedding photography are overused these days. They have no meaning anymore.  True ‘photojournalism’ would be too objective and might mean that everything about the story (even if it’s not flattering) would be captured and delivered. ‘Fine art’ seems to me like it’s not real enough, not authentic enough, to the clients—it’s the photographer’s style that takes center stage. ‘Story telling’ is probably the closest, but yet, if I just told the ‘story’ without documenting the classic family portraits, then the family history would be incomplete…

Laura Billingham Photography

I tell all my clients that my goal is to capture the important moments and details that matter in an elegant and timeless way. When they look at their photos 25 years from now, I hope they evoke the same memories and emotions that they did the first time they saw them after the wedding.

The "dance me to the end of love" kiss. Laura Billingham Photography.

Photoshopping images to look vintage, add textures and sky, etc. might look cool now, but it’s going to look as weird years from now as some of our parents’ photos look to you today.

AT: Have you ever witnessed a moment at a wedding that’s made a lasting impact on you? Can you share? 

 

LB: Obviously, after 13 years plus of photographing weddings, there have been so many! I’d be lying if I told you I never teared up at weddings. I cry all the time. In fact, I think the day I don’t get a little misty will be my last wedding…that’s when I’ll know it’s time to retire. But I can’t imagine that happening any time soon!

There have been several that have really touched me. It’s amazing how, corny as it sounds, weddings are part of the circle of life. At many weddings, grief is still fresh after a loved one has passed away, or even if it’s not recent, a wedding is another reminder that their loved one is no longer here with them to share their joy.

One particularly poignant memory I have is of photographing a bride just a few short months after her father had died after a brief illness. I met her because instead of having the wedding she & her fiancé planned to at an Irish castle (the groom was from Ireland), she had to relocate the wedding last-minute to be close to her family home in Frenchtown, NJ.

Still moment in a Quaker Ceremony. Laura Billingham Photography.

Their Quaker ceremony was just incredible. Friends and family had the time and space to share both remembrances of her dad, and the joy of the wedding. It was just so moving. In a Quaker ceremony everyone in the congregation is allowed to speak as the Spirit moves them. Consequently, a service may go on for a long time with lots of speaking; or it may have many long silences in between each person’s sharing. It was quite beautiful to be together in community in the silences in between.

AT: What’s the neatest unity ritual you’ve ever photographed?

LB: One of the coolest things about weddings is how each couple makes a wedding their own. Blended families coming together are always special. It’s fun to see how parents help children play an important role in the wedding ceremony and in symbolically signifying family unity.

Some fun unity rituals have included blending sand (bride, groom, and children each have their own color), blending tea leaves that were then shared with guests as favors so they could “brew” their love, and sending fire lanterns into the sky at dusk.

Lantern Release

I also love watching the congregation pass the couples’ rings during the ceremony. Then each and every guest has a chance to physically and literally have a hand in the marriage.

AT: In your opinion, what are the attributes of an amazing photograph of a kiss? 

LB: It’s pretty simple really. When the couple forgets that I’m there and the kiss is just about their passion, tenderness, and joy for each other and not the audience, the kiss is amazing. It’s authentic.

The "sun bursts in my heart" kiss. Laura Billingham Photography.

AT: When it comes to your personal style: Eyes open or closed?

LB: Closed, of course!

 

AT: Long after the wedding, when your couples have their final photographs, what type of photo would you say is consistently the most beloved? 

LB: Here’s a dirty little secret. The “first kiss” is over-rated. Nerves are still in full effect. There’s an audience. It’s awkward. In certain religious ceremonies, depending on the officiant, depending on the schedule of the service, sometimes couples don’t know when they’re supposed to kiss. Obviously that would never happen at a ceremony that you officiated, Alisa! But it happens more than you would think.

Laura Billingham Photography.

I think the most magical photos – the ones that couples consistently adore -- are the shots I take away from the crowd. Before the wedding I let couples know that I’ll need them for about 15 minutes during the reception right around sunset. It usually works perfectly because all the guests have greeted them, and everyone is seated enjoying the first course. We sneak away from the chaos of the reception, just the 3 of us. That is the moment when they really have their first time alone together as a married couple. I let them get ahead of me and have space to themselves. They have the time to breathe and bask in the reality that they’re married. My best advice: ignore me. Works every time

Laura Billingham

Laura Billingham is based out of Frenchtown, NJ and captures timeless moments at the most important celebrations for her clients.

Laura Billingham Photography

Website: www.laurabillingham.com

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Kiss + Tell with Susie Forrester

My friend, photographer Susie Forrester is one of these gifted, reflective observers who experiences awe when witnessing the magic of a loving kiss. She describes those kisses as, "filled with everlasting promise, desire, soulful connection and trust."

When so much beautiful emotion is present, it's easy for a talented photographer to capture it. Here are some of Susie's favorite kiss shots.  

 

Love how the bride's cakey fingers are held away from her groom...for now at least.

I choose you in the privacy of our hearts...

"The kiss is beautiful, always so happenstance, spontaneous.
It is filled with childlike innocence and delight.
It is filled with ageless wisdom and purity of faith.
I have photographed many newly wedded kisses.  

They are each different, yet resonate love, as love does so well!
My heart opens each time....always"--Susie Forrester

Susie Forrester is a celebrated fine art photographer based out of Stroudsburg, PA in the Pocono Mountains. She does wedding, event and portrait photography. See more of her work at her website http://www.forresterphoto.com

The Sofreh, the centerpiece of the Persian Wedding Ceremony

I recently had the pleasure of officiating the symbol-rich and perfectly-appointed wedding of Raha + Adam at Philadelphia's Kimmel Center of the Performing Arts.  An inter-faith couple, Raha wanted to incorporate some of the most meaningful elements from her family's Iranian tradition.

Raha's Sofreh was lovingly curated and prepared by her mother and two aunts.

The centerpiece of the Persian wedding ceremony is the Sofreh. During the ceremony, the couple sits in front of a table filled with family heirlooms and exotic items, each meant to serve as a blessing to the couple in their marriage. 

Raha's reflection in her Sofreh mirror as the bride and groom share a glance.

Among the many items present in the Iranian marriage spread are things like a candelabra with lit candles and a mirror to signify a bright and energetic future.  Wishes for wealth, health, family and a life filled with beauty are also represented by nuts, herbs, flowers, eggs and beautiful silks.

In the Kalleh Ghand tradition, a happily married woman, rubs two cones of sugar together over the bride and groom's head, showering them with blessings for a life filled with sweetness and love.

Wishes for the bride and groom to have a shared life filled with sweetness was shown many times throughout the day. One of my favorites was the tradition of the Kalleh Ghand. While Raha and Adam were still seated looking at their Sofreh, a beautiful silk was held over the heads while the bride's sister Sara (a happily married woman) generously rubbed two cones of sugar together, showering the couple with flakes meant to bless them with a life of sweetness and love.

Kahl Weddings

At the end of the ceremony, the bride and groom each dip their pinky finger in honey and touch it to the others' lips.  This is meant to show their intentions and hopes for a sweet future.

As I watched Adam and Raha partake in this ancient Asal ritual, I couldn't help but see it also as a personal promise to bring sweetness to the life of the other as they embark on the grandest adventure of all. 

A special thanks to Andy from Kahl Weddings for capturing so many beautiful moments. And congratulations to Raha and Adam--may your life be filled with enough sweetness and love so as to last a thousand years.

Kiss + Tell with Douglas Benedict

Although each of my couples inspires a unique ceremony, one thing remains relatively constant—the way each ceremony ends. No matter the religious beliefs, ages, size of the wedding or particular journey the couple took to get to this moment, all of my weddings end with the Declaration-where I announce that they are now officially and legally recognized as a married couple. Then they kiss. 

Most people recognize this part--the kiss--as the end of the ceremony. Crossing this threshold of life together, the couple kisses, the crowd cheers and claps, cue some awesome uplifting song and the glowing couple exits.

Although a couple will probably end up with many pictures together kissing and canoodling on their wedding day, there’s something really special when the stars align and a photographer can capture this moment as it is happening.

Here's some highlights from my Q&A with Lehigh Valley-based Photographer Douglas Benedict about his kissing advice and where he finds inspiration...

Alisa Tongg: Do you have any general advice for couples who want to have their ceremony kiss captured?

Douglas Benedict: Sometimes it's as simple as making sure they don't have their backs to the audience and the camera.

AT: When you're out on shoots alone with a couple, do you have any hints for helping them to relax and get lost in the moment? When being photographed most people feel like they have to pose, look a certain way, or get stuck in a hard smile (that happened to me recently, thanks for easing me back off the ledge C.J. Dewolf). Do you have a mantra or something that you share with people to help them enjoy?

DB: Very few people genuinely want to have their photo taken but everyone wants good photography. Wedding days are easier because couples tend to be all wrapped up emotionally in the day. On those days, I am all about the candid--catching moments as they really happen, staying out of the way and letting reality unfold.

"The body language in these photos show a moment of true intimacy between the couple. They are the only people in the world at that moment. The trick? It's the same trick you need for the entire day: Be lost in the moment. Dial out all the wedding day noise and let yourself get lost in the day. Don't worry about how your kiss will look - just kiss! You just got married!"--Douglas Benedict

Douglas Benedict Photography, LLC is a small independent studio in Bethlehem, PA. They accept a limited number of weddings each year in order to give each couple the personalized attention needed to capture their story in an artistic a beautiful way. For more information visit his website http://www.douglasbenedict.com/